2.01.2009

Not the first, not the last


Just came in from saying the children's memorial service I've chanted the first Sunday of every month since June of last year, a service in which I recite the names of lost and unborn children (some were long since children; some never were) sent in by readers. This is now the ninth time I've done this service in my backyard, usually with the dog, sometimes kids, always birds and bugs, over the din, under clouds and shine, planting a stick of smoking incense, a spiraling wisp of emptiness, and reading a list now 94 names long, some of them names, some of them not, each one reborn with the echo of sound, the heartbeat of time, the moment that comes on the first Sunday and goes on forever.

It's never too late to include your lost loves by leaving a comment here.

Photo originally uploaded by HoneyMill.

28 comments:

Jane_hates_Dick said...

Ferdinand.

Jeannie said...

Wow. Thats amazing of you. I've had many miscarriages before my son and the hurt never goes away, I couldn't imagine losing a child. Bless you for recognizing those little angels.

Anonymous said...

Thank you. Please add our Baraka (swahili for blessing), born Mothers Day 2006 at 20 weeks.

Anonymous said...

river.
mountain.
sky.

Anonymous said...

Seth. Lost after just three days in 2007. My cousin's son. Thank you.

Amber said...

Anna Lee one of my best friends little girls and Alice another friends precious little one who was lost.
Thank you and love
xxx

Erin said...

Dakota. He was a 12 yr. old boy who accidentally slid on the ice and under a school bus while horse playing with friends and was killed when the bus pulled away. It's a horrible tragedy that our whole community is going through at the moment.
Thank you for your kindness, Karen.
Peace.

Barbara said...

I can't tell you how much comfort it gives me that my son Geroge's name is spoken out loud somewhere else in the world and I can't quite explain why!

Thank you Karen, thank you.

xxx

She She said...

Please include my three, never born.

And two girls from my extended family: Gabriella and Caroline.

Thank you for doing this. It's a comfort.

Jill said...

Many months ago I added Hope to the Memorial Ceremony. I had a miscarriage last May. Last week, on Monday, again I had a little one who was only with me for 14 weeks. I was so comforted to see this post today, thank you. So, please add another of my little ones to your list. We didn't name our little baby but for cremation they called him Baby Mann (our last name). Thank you so much for adding this comfort to sad parents and relatives lives.

Rach said...

What a wonderful thing you do. My baby is Alice (mentioned above by my sweet friend Amber) and Alice's darling friend is George (also included above by his wonderful mummy Barbara). Thank you for what you do.

Bridge said...

Hannah.

Debra W said...

Karen, you are such a beautiful soul. I just needed to tell you that.

Hugs,
Debbie

Debra W said...

Karen, you are such a beautiful soul. I just needed to tell you that.

Hugs,
Debbie

Debra W said...

And now I guess that I needed to tell you that twice! Or maybe, just maybe, you needed to hear it twice today?

More hugs,
Debbie

Indigo said...

Beautifully compassionate of you to do this dear one. I'm always saying prayers on the smoke for those who I come across and need it. It's truly a sacred ritual. I'm often surprised it's others I ask for, I seem to get so much in the serenity that comes from this. (Hugs)Indigo

Anonymous said...

Kai Noa ~~ thank you Karen *

Anonymous said...

Thank you for continuing to include our Sophie, who I included when you first started this 9 months ago. I have been away for a while from your site, but to come back today, on this day, and realized your prayers included her yesterday, have included her always, meant and means so much to me.

Karen Maezen Miller said...

Indeed. Amen.

Anonymous said...

Christopher.
Thank you.

Anonymous said...

wow. this is amazing. please add my sweet, sweet sister, Sarah, who died suddenly at the age of 20 while traveling abroad (after completing her semester abroad) & following her dreams in may 2006.
many, many thanks.

Lana said...

Zoe, my son's little friend who should have been 4 this coming Thursday...

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful and caring thing to do. I will be forever grateful if you add "Baby H" to your list.

Anonymous said...

Thank you. Please add my Lima-bean (never born). And also Mira for a friend who lost her wee one in childbirth.

Bonnie said...

please add my baby who i miscarried on new years day 2008 at 10 wks.
i know i wasn't pregnant that long and that i have a happy healthy 4year old but it still hurts sometimes.

thank you karen,
bonnie

Nikole said...

Thank you for this, Karen. Thank you.

Stacy (mama-om) said...

Thank you, Karen.

hahamommy said...

Please add Hannah Lea Jenner to your list ♥ we just celebrated her transition's third anniversary
You can read more about her
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
Perhaps someday I'll be able to give you some of her ashes, so to bless your garden :D