Hanging out by my lonesome

A monk asked Gensha, "How do I enter the Way?" Gensha replied, "Do you hear the murmuring stream?" The monk answered, "Yes, I do." Gensha said, "Enter there." – Zen koan

"What is dharma?"

That was my one of my first questions in one of the first dokusans, or interviews, I had with a Zen teacher when I started practicing 15 years ago.

I'd been drawn to a remote mountain, to the scent of sandalwood, to the hush of the pine trees, to the rustle of the robes in the dim light of a zendo, and to an inscrutable Japanese teacher. I'd been driven by despair, by a broken heart, and by disgust with the same old same old me.

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